Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How long will it take for this training to show changes in my team?

A: Immediately.  I teach not just tactics but a new way of looking at conflict.  To effect ongoing, sustainable change, I need to work both with those experiencing the conflicts and those supervising them.

Q: Incidents go down regularly here but that doesn’t mean we want to be reliant on a conflict coach on an ongoing basis. What do you do to promote our team being able to handle new situations without you?

A: When authorized to work with your managers, I will coach them on how to use each incident to improve your on-site training, protocols, and employee performance. Teams who embrace this rarely need me to return as they have a culture of constant improvement and learning built into their operations. We also offer interactive training videos (web-based) so your new hires can get up to speed quickly.

Q: My workplace is not similar to those listed on this website. 

A: Human conflict always follows the same patterns, thanks to generations of biology.  While each service site is different (type of conflict, space/ support logistics, communication access, etc) the steps to address people who are irate, irrational, harassing, bigoted, or bullying are generally the same. Also, I have supported a more diverse client set than represented here (five star hotels, free meal providers, wineries, property managers, construction companies). While not all of our clients wish to be publicly named, the mechanics of de-escalating oneself and others is a constant.

Q: How do I know this will benefit my team?

A: By-products of poor conflict management to look for:

• high turnover, especially among recent hires

• repeated incidents/complaints of poor customer service, bad reviews

• Team culture of defensiveness, inflexibility, information hoarding

• Single team members handle all of the conflict, duties are not shared broadly

• Failure of team to maintain positive regard for the people they serve

Q: We train our front-line staff that the customer is always right.  If we start being firm with them, we risk losing their business.

A: My hospitality clients report that “upset Gus”es are a minority of their sales.  In other words, less than 5% of the people they serve may publicly threaten bad reviews, scream at staff, etc, BUT make up the lion's share of customer refunds, and are less likely to return.  Clearly, these folks are not a profitable segment of your customer base. Not only are they costing you money but they likely create a bad experience for your more ideal customers. Imagine your team being able to intervene before Gus gets worked up. You may always have these folks, but the goal is to minimize their impact on others, including your staff. 

Q: Most of my team members are female-identified.  We don’t see physical fights or intimidation, but more sexual harassment and flirting. Is that covered?

A: Yes. I rely heavily on Washington Administrative Code derived policies toward supporting your workplace to have solid anti-discrimination language.  We can talk during your consultation about regulatory standards, your employee handbook, and your concerns regarding a safe workplace.

We also cover the unique challenges and advantages those who are female in appearance have in the face of aggression. This is paired with information on male-patterned privilege and defining personal boundaries. I work specifically with your team on what to say, how to handle it, how to seek support, and clarify the employer’s standard for setting boundaries.

Q: Will we be trained on restraining or escorting people physically?

A: No.  As a former trainer of physical interventions, I found these less effective, and hardly worth the higher risk of injury and higher costs. In most incidents, non-physical intervention succeeds beautifully. Some of my clients have either reduced security staff or had me train their security team. In these cases, we reduced physical response rates. If, after our consultation, you believe that physical response is right for your team, I will refer you to other options.

For those who have security on-site, it’s best we work with them and the other public-facing members of the team. For example, the director of security in a high-volume setting was relieved to see a reduction in calls related to a significant increase in de-escalation skills in non-security staff.